Step 1: Put down the kittens!
Step 2: Go jump in the lake!
This method should work if the wild cat is relatively small (but could still give you a nasty scratch on the leg). Apparently these diminutive feral felines are not that different from your next door neighbour, Mrs. Hassenpfeffer's pampered cat, Julius. Even a really pissed off mama wildcat would rather go hungry than get her dainty paws damp.
(Call me cynical but I think this method may have been motivated out of self-interest. Those soaking wet Buster Browns are almost certainly going to be ruined, requiring expensive replacements and increased sales for the smiling fellow in frame six.)
However, "Doc" Peters (and by the way, I have doubts about his status as an actual physician) had a rather more abbreviated prescription for dealing with a bobcat: Blast him with both barrels.
Gun enthusiasts who occassion this blog may be surprised to hear that I'm with the Doc. I do a fair amount of hiking in remote wooded areas and have seen my share of chewed up deer carcasses. Quite frankly, there's been the odd time when I wished I had a little firepower handy - just in case.
Ideally, it would be one of those portable Gatling guns with the shoulder strap like the one Jesse "The Body" Ventura used in the first Predator movie, complete with a giant bandoleer of really big bullets!
That way I could just hose down the entire area at the first snap of a twig - you know, essentially clearcutting that section of the forest and vaporizing any potential threat. What's that you say? It was just old Mrs. Hassenpfeffer bringing me a thermos of warm soup? Oh. Nevermind.
You can check out more comicstrip ads in my Comicstrip Advertising set.
r"Buster Brown,He lives in a shoe!. There is his dog Tag,.. he lives there too!"
ReplyDeleteRemember that diddy?
Great stuff Leif!
HA HA .. now pass me the .22...gonna shoot me some Bambi from the porch!
HA HA HA
Sorry guys Tag or Tige, I'm much too young to remember anything about Buster Brown shoes! ;-)
ReplyDeleteNeil; I too am wondering what the deal is with "Doc" Peters... those quotation marks do not bode well for anyone hoping to get the "doc" to do a little open heart surgery on the kitchen table.
I suspect "Doc"'s ethusiasm and familiarity with firearms might mean he is the sort of Doc called upon in the middle of the night to remove bullets from "some friends of ours".
.....what ever...
ReplyDeleteYou see? I had a feeling about that "Doc". We will be seeing more of him later this year and hopefully he'll prove himself worthy of at least dispensing bandaids and cough drops.
ReplyDeleteNeil; I was of that early 70's generation that grew up in running shoes - North Stars, then Adidas when I got a little older and refused to wear cheap, uncool non-name brand runners. Buster Browns would have mortified me - and so I am being punished today with two sons who also refuse to wear anything but the current most expensive brand of casual footwear.
I remember the Buster Brown jingle, Jeff. You'll have to forgive Leif... his parents were new to the country back then, so they just weren't in the know! What would a new school year have been without brand new Buster Browns from Kiddie Kobbler (the red Mary Janes!)... wearing them home and carrying your old summer sneakers in the box... and a lollypop and a balloon if you were good! Those were the days.
ReplyDeleteMust buy new shoes now...
Well, I don't remember the jingle, but I too remember the annual trek to Kiddie Kobbler for shoes...
ReplyDeleteBill Angus
Well Thank you Wen
ReplyDeleteGee,at 5 years of age I shoulda been PAYING MORE ATTENTION to the Dumb-ass Dawg's name!
Tige,Tag...sheesh.....
Hey..Wen when are we gonna hook up.Cindy keeps asking......umm..you can bring Leif too!
ha ha
Jeff
@leif
ReplyDelete"Gun enthusiasts who occassion this blog may be surprised to hear that I'm with the Doc. I do a fair amount of hiking in remote wooded areas and have seen my share of chewed up deer carcasses. Quite frankly, there's been the odd time when I wished I had a little firepower handy - just in case."
Good to hear, leif. You seem to have recognized that the police/ranger response to a location 6 miles from any road is probably non-optimal, if you can even get cell service at all. Most of us gun enthusiasts would recommend a 3" .357 revolver. Simple, reliable, and good for 2-legged and 4-legged varmints up to 250 pounds. Of course, know that carrying in National Parks carries heavy penalties. Of course, all of the pot growers and meth cookers that the rangers find every year don't have guns, because they follow the law. Of course, if you're in Canada, don't even bother.
"I suspect "Doc"'s ethusiasm and familiarity with firearms might mean he is the sort of Doc called upon in the middle of the night to remove bullets from "some friends of ours"."
So. Gun owners are suspect of aiding and abetting criminals now? That's beneath you, leif. For shame.
@jeff norwell
"HA HA .. now pass me the .22...gonna shoot me some Bambi from the porch!"
Your comment is completely irresponsible. Shooting deer with a .22LR would just wound the animal without putting it down, causing the animal to suffer days or weeks before dying of infection. Using a .30-30 or better would kill the animal quickly with a minimum of suffering. Using enough gun is the mark of a responsible hunter.
Or were you just taking a dig at gun owners as irresponsible hicks who can't speak proper English? Why are you being so intolerant?
--jlbraun, an armed Liberal
Does your shoe have a boy inside? what a funny place for a boy to hide. Does your shoe have a dog there too? A boy and a dog and foot in a shoe. Well the boy is Buster Brown and the dog is Tige his friend and its really just a picture but it's fun to play pretend. So look look look in your telephone book for the store that sells the shoe with the picture of the boy and the dog there too so you can put your foot into, a Buster Brown shoe.
ReplyDelete